Nobody likes to be talked down by people who think they are better than you—especially if they are better than you. That’s why after about the third time you break something on your computer in a week, it might be time to try some simple tips to “fix” your computer without any more of those rolled eyes or smirks.

• Your Email: It is likely that your company expects you to send in-company emails through your official office address. You can get around this by sending notes to your coworkers by hand—it’s a much more personal touch. If you start getting complaints or jeers, start affixing chocolate kisses to the corner and they’ll probably stop complaining.
• Your Internet Browser Stops Working: There are tons of browsers out there. Unless you are very restricted in what you can install on your computer, you can go through, like, five different browsers breaking before you have to own up to anyone.
• There’s a Virus on Your Computer: If you do nothing about it, it’s likely the entire network will soon be affected. Then IT will have to shut down the ENTIRE system one day after work, which is much better than having to hear them whine about how stupid you office people are (be warned that some experienced guys might trace it to your computer, so certainly don’t do it more than once).
• Your Computer Stops Booting: This one is probably beyond you. Open the computer box, and jiggle the video card until it is a little loose, then put it all back together (if you don’t know which one is the video card, jiggle all sorts of random cords so something breaks). The IT might mistake it for the computer itself wearing out, and since he’s already annoyed with the age of the equipment, he will most likely start whining about that instead.
• You’re Having Some Problem with an Essential Program: Put off your work associated with the program for as long as possible. Then begin to log into the computers of people that have called in sick. If you wait long enough, someone else is liable to have a similar problem and then you can face the ire of the IT guy together and you won’t feel as dumb.
• Your Computer Starts Smelling and/or Getting Smokey: Go ahead and let it catch on fire, burn itself out, or whatever it’s doing—unless other people in the office begin smelling it too :( . Once your computer catches on fire, they have to buy you a brand new computer!
• Your Computer Starts Smelling and/or Getting Smokey: Find out if an IT guy happens to be a “Mac” person. He will just spend the entire time complaining about PC computers and will treat you like an innocent victim—even if the error came from downloading virus-infected porn (it’s a religious thing).

You never deserve to be treated like a moron, but if you’re going to be treated like one anyway, it kind of permits you to act a bit like one. Doesn’t it?