You’re not supposed to flirt with people at your job, nor are you supposed to date them. The truth is, however, that you spend most of your waking hours at work and you’re liable to start fantasizing about the people you see everyday—we are organic machines designed to reproduce, after all. We may try to focus on writing reports or answering phones with the best of intentions, but there will always be that small little voice in our head that will be telling us “have sex with this one here!”

What do you do when this happens to you? There are several options:

1. Do the Right Thing: But then you will never have that exhilarating experience of being excited to go to work. Besides, it will make for interesting stories to tell at parties in case people think you’re prudish or boring.
2. Test The Waters: Finding out if your crush is interested as well is a tricky game. You have to behave in such a way that: if your hopeful lover reciprocates your interest, your affection is obvious, and if not, the crush has absolutely no idea about your feelings. This usually involves a game of cat and mouse where you switch between complimenting and deriding the crush, gradually increasing either the sweet-nothings or insults based on the reaction.
3. Go Full Bore: Ask the crush out on a date. If accepted, you may have a successful and fulfilling relationship. If rejected, you’ll be forced to constantly return to a place where people giggle about you behind your back and everybody thinks you’re a loser.
4. Go Home and Tell Your Wife How Much You Love Her: If you are a male, you have the option of expressing your sudden love for your wife in a whiney voice and propose sex for the first time in months. You will likely flirt with the co-worker the next day anyway.

If you chose number 2, here are a few more suggestions:

• Stop eating your crushes’ food. The crush might have noticed that you have been stealing food and take this as a sign of newfound affection.
• Find Time to Talk Alone Together. When working in the same section, ask some questions about the crushes’ day or life at home. As an excuse to talk, ask a work related question that your crush probably knows the answers to. Sabotage the elevator so it will break down while you two are in it. There are many ways to accomplish this if you’re creative.
• Linger a Little Too Long When Your Eyes Meet. This is a sure fire way to turn up the attraction if there is potential romance between the two of you. If the crush begins to get disgusted, say something that indicates disinterest, like “Have you ever considered getting a nose job?” or “I can’t tell if those are freckles or acne.”
• Offer to Help Your Crush on Some Project: It’s customary to be nice to people you like, so this might get the point across. If the crush accepts your help, especially if it’s obviously pointless, then the feelings are probably reciprocated. If you’re rejected, be sure to offer help to everyone else within earshot.
• Compliment Your Crush: Say something nice about the way he or she looks. If it isn’t taken very well, try it again a few more times. If you begin to make the crush freak out, you pretty much have to go around complimenting the entire office for weeks so it seems you are just complimentary in general.
• If You’re a Straight Guy: Tell a Lot of Bad Jokes. Centuries of oppression to women has brainwashed them into thinking that they have to laugh at everything a man says if they want his affection. It’s true! If it works and you eventually marry her, you better learn some funnier jokes because there will be a sudden reversal.

Hopefully you will get a date if it all works out. If it does go well, you are on your way to an exciting, enticingly scandalous romance. If your date bombs, show up to work the next day so you can spread rumors and slander about the date and crush before the he or she gets a chance to do it to you. Good luck!